The UN has designated March 20th as the International Day of Happiness. In addition, this date coincides with the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere. In these days nature begins to awaken from its winter lethargy.
The spiritual teachers of all ages have formulated their own definitions of happiness. Science has also tried to define happiness. However, there is no consensus in either religious interpretations or scientific theories.
These discrepancies exist because the concept of happiness is vague. For this reason I will not concentrate on religious definitions or scientific theories. Instead, I will focus on the pragmatic aspect of happiness.
Often the terms “joyfulness”, “cheerfulness” and “happiness” are used interchangeably, and perhaps they are different names of the same concept. For many people, however, happiness seems a fleeting goal. Joy, on the other hand, is within our reach. The seekers of happiness crave a permanent state of well being while cheerful people feel this emotion on a daily basis. Therefore, feeling cheerful is a readily available human experience while happiness seems a life-long goal to achieve.
The survivor of the Nazi concentration camps and Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl said once that:
“Happiness is like a butterfly;
The more you chase it, the more it will elude you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It will come and softly sit on your shoulder.
How can we get out of the paradoxical trap of the pursuit of happiness? First, we must avoid seeking happiness directly and, as Frankl suggests, we ought to turn our attention “to other things”. But what can these “other things” be? Perhaps these other things are our attitudes and actions that help us move forward on the path of personal growth. In a nutshell, as Frankl used to remind us, it’s more about our inner freedom than about our circumstances. Therefore instead of seeking happiness, let’s seek personal development since walking the path of acquiring virtues can attract happiness.
Let us return to the pragmatic aspect of happiness. Another person who suffered years of imprisonment and torture, is ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, known to many as “The Master.” He explains the joy with these words:
“Joy gives us wings! In times of joy our strength is more vital, our intellect keener, and our understanding less clouded. We seem better able to cope with the world and to find our sphere of usefulness.“
And to better underline the impact of joy, The Master also mentions the effects of sadness:
“But when sadness visits us we become weak, our strength leaves us, our comprehension is dim and our intelligence veiled. The actualities of life seem to elude our grasp, the eyes of our spirits fail to discover the sacred mysteries, and we become even as dead beings.”
How to be Cheerful
If happiness seems a difficult objective, perhaps cheerfulness is an attainable goal. But, how can we be cheerful? Joyfulness and cheerfulness are more easily achieved through actions than with thoughts. It is true that positive thoughts help us feel joyful but there are few people with such mental power to dissipate sadness with their willpower. For the rest of us, how we act becomes a strong magnet to attract these positive emotions.
What do cheerful people do? One of the visible actions of people who are joyful is their smiling face. These people smile more often than the majority. Entertaining positive thoughts can generate joy because there is a link between emotions and facial mimicry. Some researchers, such as the German psychologist Fritz Strack, argue that the effect of joy and positive thoughts can be achieved with facial mimicry, namely a smile. Strack suggests that a mechanical smile can make us feel happy.
I doubt that forcing a smile mechanically causes joy for everyone. However, there is an interesting principle that its practical application can be very useful. That is, act like cheerful people. Our small actions based on “as if I’m joyful” can attract positive emotions. Two philosophers, Blaise Pascal and Hans Vaihinger argued that acting “as if” you were cheerful could lead to joy. In other words, performing a deliberate action can make us feel an authentic emotion.
Sometimes it is difficult for us to feel happy. In these cases, it is useless to force happiness with positive thought. Instead, we can ask ourselves “if I were a cheerful person, what would I do today?” This question stimulates our creativity and we will come up with some ideas. Among all the options, we can choose a small action and put it into practice.
If every day we perform a tiny action with tints of joyfulness, it will not be long before the day we have become a cheerful person. A cheerful attitude is the best mental disposition to inquire into the philosophical, abstract and spiritual aspects of happiness. Joy will serve as a beacon that can illuminate the path of the pursuit of happiness.
“Happiness consists more in the small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.”
Sleeping is an essential part of life. We all need to sleep at least few hours every night in order to function properly. Our mind and body suffer when we have difficulty in falling asleep or when we wake up in the middle of the night and are unable to sleep again.
When we don’t get enough sleep, during the day we feel tired, irritable, have difficulty concentrating. Of course, there are exceptions. Randy Gardner when he was 17 years old set a world record of staying awake without using any stimulant for 11 hours in 1964. However, for the rest of us, we need to sleep every night.
Sleeping is biological imperative. Our body and mind get a good rest for several hours every night. During sleep several functions occur. Some of these are metabolic, immunological and hormonal.
Here are some of the functions of sleep. A good night sleep is an excellent restoration mechanism for the body. All the organs get a chance to rest. For example, it has shown that sleeping helps healing our wounds. Although all organs slow down, our brain maintains its full function.
In addition to taking care of the body, sleeping allows the brain to repair itself by removing wastes and the mind to improve memory.
Dreaming, specifically, helps to keep us emotionally healthy. Anxiety dreams and nightmares are the way our mind releases the built up tensions during the previous day. During the REM sleep, the brain blocks the activity of the bodily motor system. That’s the reason why we don’t move when we dream. Without this mechanism, we would move our body when we have nightmares, which would cause a complete physical exhaustion.
Now you know the functions of sleeping, you ought to make sure to get a good night sleep every night. Here are some tips:
Do your best to go to bed at the same hour. Your brain love routines and if you maintain a healthy one, it makes it easy to fall asleep.
Avoid strong lights 30 minutes before going to bed. If you must use a laptop or a cell phone in bed just before sleeping, make sure you dim the screen. A strong light into your eyes becomes a message for your brain to wake up.
Avoid snooze button. Sleeping is made of several cycles of REM and not REM. When you wake up and then go back to bed to be waken up again few minutes later, you fall into a new sleep cycle. That’s why snooze enthusiasts drag themselves out of bed.
Sleep in darkness. Avoid keeping a light on when you sleep. The light penetrates through your closed eyelids and communicates to your brain that it’s time to get up. It confuses your sleep cycle.
Avoid alcohol. Although drinking a glass of wine may apparently make you feel drowsy, it actually interferes with sleeping cycles.
“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.” Ghandi
It’s a common belief that severe phobias are more difficult to treat than mild fears. After all, it seems common sense that if you have a mild fear reaction, it should be easy for you to overcome it. Following this rational argumentation, should you suffer from a strong phobia, because of your strong negative reaction it’s going to be a difficult task to get rid of it.
However, not always common sense and rational argumentations are scientific. There is a difference between common sense intuition and scientific method.
Scott Lilienfeld and colleagues conducted a research on many widely held common-sense beliefs about human behaviour. In their book 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology, they discuss these myths. Here are three of these myths:
• “Crimes increase during full moons.”
• “People use only 10% of their brain power.”
• “Low self-esteem is a major cause of psychological problems.”
Another myth linked to the theme of this article is the assumption that a complicated problem requires an equally complicated solution. However, my experience has shown that this statement is not always true. Countless professionals have shown just often you can solve a very complicated phobia with a simple solution.
I know that this may sound totally counterintuitive because most people that have a severe phobia have done different kinds of therapy without much success. Their obvious conclusion seems to be that the more severe the phobia is, the more difficult its solution must be.
Have you ever thought that there could be another explanation? What if the reason is not so much due to the severity of your phobic reaction, but rather, the inefficacy of the therapy you tried?
Therefore, the key factor is the competency of the professional to know how to help you overcome your phobias that is effective (that solves the problem) and efficient (in a shortest time with the least effort on your part).
Finding the right intervention, a small but precise change, can put into motion a ripple effect for the ultimate positive change.
If you are suffering from a sever case of phobia, rest assured that there is a solution. You can overcome your intense fear. I have helped many people with severe cases of phobias to regain their peace of mind in just 5 sessions.